Every country differs from every other. And of course, being from A is far better than being from B. So, here are some top 5 reasons why it's best being ...
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
- When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
- If there's a war you can surrender really early.
- You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
- You can be ugly and still become a famous filmstar.
- People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
- You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
- You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
- You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
- You are either
- like the Dutch, just less efficient
- like the French, just less romantic
- like the Germans
- No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and they make fun of you.
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
- You get to be really obese.
- If you can breathe you can get a gun.
- If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
- You can be a crook and still be president.
- You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. But nobody abroad agrees.
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
- You can kill baby seals, whales and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
- You can go skiing in your knickers.
- You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
- When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.
- You can actually get bored with blondes.
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
- You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
- Union Jack/George's Cross underpants.
- You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
- Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
- Ditto changing underwear.
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
- You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
- Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on
- No one can ever remember the night before.
- You can emigrate just so you can tell everyone abroad how good Ireland is.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
- Live near the Pope.
- In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
- Glorious military history prior to 400BC.
- Can wear sunglasses inside and at night.
- Italian women.
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
- You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
- The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
- Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
- You get to eat bull's testicles.
- Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
OK, let's give them a second chance
- On a motorway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
- You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
- You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
- Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law. Yet.
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
- Chicken Madras.
- Lamb Passanda.
- Onion Bhaji.
- Bombay Potato.
- Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking.
And, of course:
TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
- You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
- If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.
- You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
- You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
- Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
Last update of this page: Tuesday, 06-Mar-2012 15:28:05 CET