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Cultural differences

Every country differs from every other. And of course, being from A is far better than being from B. So, here are some top 5 reasons why it's best being ...

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH

  1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
  2. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
  3. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
  4. You can be ugly and still become a famous filmstar.
  5. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN

  1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
  2. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
  3. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
  4. You are either
    • like the Dutch, just less efficient
    • like the French, just less romantic
    • like the Germans
  5. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and they make fun of you.

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN

  1. You get to be really obese.
  2. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
  3. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
  4. You can be a crook and still be president.
  5. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. But nobody abroad agrees.

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN

  1. You can kill baby seals, whales and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
  2. You can go skiing in your knickers.
  3. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
  4. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.
  5. You can actually get bored with blondes.

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH

  1. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
  2. Union Jack/George's Cross underpants.
  3. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
  4. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
  5. Ditto changing underwear.

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH

  1. Guinness.
  2. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
  3. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on
  4. No one can ever remember the night before.
  5. You can emigrate just so you can tell everyone abroad how good Ireland is.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN

  1. Live near the Pope.
  2. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
  3. Glorious military history prior to 400BC.
  4. Can wear sunglasses inside and at night.
  5. Italian women.

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH

  1. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
  2. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
  3. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
  4. You get to eat bull's testicles.
  5. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN

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OK, let's give them a second chance

  1. Oktoberfest.
  2. On a motorway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
  3. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
  4. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
  5. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law. Yet.

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN

  1. Chicken Madras.
  2. Lamb Passanda.
  3. Onion Bhaji.
  4. Bombay Potato.
  5. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking.

And, of course:

TOP 5 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH

  1. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
  2. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.
  3. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
  4. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
  5. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
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      Last update of this page: Tuesday, 06-Mar-2012 15:28:05 CET

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